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A Manual for Critics

Let's try this again...

You're the sort of person who was made fun of in high school because you were over-analytical. One time, someone corrected you on the phone. They called and asked, "Hello, is this Jose?" to which you replied, "This is he," instead of, "This is him." They told you, "You mean, this is him?" when that wasn't at all what you meant, because you understand that English has a subjective case. Growing up, the little Texan kids would constantly correct what you learned in your ESL class. They'd say things like, "It's dubyah, not double-u," when in fact it was double-u. Sometimes the kids would say, "speak English, this is 'Murica," when you probably spoke English better than they did, save the accent.

Then you went to college for what you loved most: poetry, literature, film, English, art. What did you find?

You were too snooty. The people around you may have been wrong, even hypocritica…

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